SHOULD WE ACCEPT OURSELVES?

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At what point does self-acceptance stop being healthy—and start becoming an excuse?

In my view, there’s an important distinction between honest self-acknowledgment and passive self-acceptance.

So, should we accept ourselves? I’d argue that a better word is acknowledge. We need to acknowledge who we currently are—the good, the bad and the ugly—while actively working to improve ourselves, rather than simply accepting who we are. Continuous acceptance without real change becomes a form of copping out. Accepting ourselves without genuine effort to grow—or merely stating intentions without taking action—starts to look more like self-indulgence than self-compassion. As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

Of course, one could argue that real acceptance is what makes growth possible. And I agree. What I’m calling counterproductive here is passive acceptance, not honest self-compassion.

I’m not speaking from a high horse, mind you. I’m just as guilty as anyone of sometimes not following through on my intentions toward self-improvement. So one of my New Year’s resolutions is to become more consistent about putting my money where my mouth is.

I’d like to invite you to join this new-beginnings movement: Take some time to reflect on what you’d like to improve; list your long-term goals and objectives; break them down into short-term, achievable action steps—and then… get to it.

"A well done is better than well said" — Benjamin Franklin

Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 01/22/26

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