This Happened.
Over the years, I’ve had a few events that I would classify as mystical experiences... One incident in particular stands out in my mind.
In the span of 10 or so years between my first and second marriage, I dated intermittently and had a couple of more serious relationships. However, there were many lonely nights in between those connections... On one such night, I was feeling quite sick. I’d been having some sort of thyroid imbalance or storm that had been causing me to feel tired, drained, achy and feverish every night for a couple of months straight. I was self-employed at the time and didn’t have health insurance, so medical expenses were out of pocket. I had paid to see a doctor and undergo some lab tests that revealed the imbalance, but no clear diagnosis or effective solution had been presented to me, other than the possibility of having to take thyroid medication for the rest of my life.
That night, I was feeling sicker than usual when I went to bed. I felt chills in my whole body and covered myself with blankets, which I was aware I shouldn’t have; but I was feeling so cold... After a couple of hours of fitful sleep, I was awakened by a voice in my head, a voice that seemed to be other than my own, telling me to get up and go take a tepid water shower. I tried to ignore the “Voice.” I was feeling chilly and too weak to even think about getting up, especially to take a cold shower. But the Voice was persistent and wouldn’t leave me alone. I finally dragged myself out of bed and went to the bathroom, mentally complaining and practically having an argument with the Voice. I undressed and got in the shower, and then got into another argument with the Voice about the temperature of the water; the Voice kept insisting that the water should be colder, but I was still feeling so chilly...
I finally complied and turned down the water temperature to what the Voice considered tepid, but felt freezing cold to me. Leaning my head against the shower wall, I allowed the water to keep falling on me for what felt like forever. During the whole time, I kept whining and complaining like a spoiled child (although I was in my 40’s when that happened), while the Voice kept consoling and encouraging me through it. The Voice finally said it was ok to turn off the shower and get ready to go back to bed.
When I was back in bed, it felt like my fever had lowered and I wasn’t as cold any more. The Voice told me to leave the blankets off and just cover myself with the bed sheet, so that the fever wouldn’t spike again. I thanked the Voice for the help and apologized for my behavior, but then started whining about being alone and feeling miserable. The Voice (which now sounded more like a collective of voices) affirmed that I was never alone, that “they” were always with me. To which I rebuked in my spoiled-child tone: “Sure, but you aren’t able to give me a hug when I need one...” The Voice replied that “they” were going to hug me. At that moment, I felt myself enveloped by a most wonderful, uplifting, loving energy, so intense that it brought me to tears... It felt as if I had been “energetically” hugged by benevolent beings who seemed to have my best interest at heart, and had made themselves known when I needed help.
I remember easily falling back asleep after the energy hug, still basking in its wonderful effects, feeling supported, protected and loved... After that incident, it didn’t take me long to recover from my health crisis, with just some minor diet and lifestyle changes... and no meds.
One could certainly argue that my experience was just a delusion or psychotic episode, the direct result of being delirious due to the fever spike I had. However, that doesn’t seem to explain the sudden surge of warm, loving energy I felt come over me. And what if what is commonly referred to as delusion or hallucination is really the result of a closer, deeper look into our “reality” and other realms through heightened states of awareness?
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ―Albert Einstein
Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 05/24/2024
Comments